When you hold as many meetings each year as we advisors do, you can gain a perspective at times on the general mood out there. After years of COVID protocols, inflation, and a seemingly ever worsening political climate, to name a few, it is understandable if you are one of those feeling a general sense of malaise right now. We’re hearing about it on a very regular basis these days. Though it may be difficult or impossible to take action that will affect the large forces that feel like they are moving against you, taking action on things you actually can affect is a better way to fight off this malaise than waiting for these large forces to finally move in your favor. Nothing I know of makes a person feel more in control of their life than setting goals and taking action, especially taking action on things we have been putting off, or on things we know would make us happier or healthier but we just haven’t had the motivation to start.
The amazing thing about the goal setting and achieving process is it works just as well for those who AREN’T currently feeling any general sense of malaise, because most of us have something we know could be better in our lives yet we seem unable to take the action on it we know we should take. How is it that something that would make you even happier, and it’s right there, nearly at your fingertips, is something you aren’t doing? You know what you need to do to reach it, and you can swear that you want to do what you need to do, and yet. . .
What is that thing for you? Maybe it’s being in better touch with a loved one, maybe it’s cleaning the garage, maybe it’s being in better health. Just say it out loud. Don’t get discouraged that you’ve maybe known for a while you want this thing but haven’t had the motivation to do anything about it. Give conviction to this thing by giving voice to it. Now that you’ve said it, let’s get to work.
Step ONE: Create the Action Plan.
The first step is to define what you want to achieve, which includes by when you would like to achieve it, and the actions you need to take. You just said what you want to do, this thing you know you should have been doing already but haven’t been able to muster the energy to actually do. Define it as a quantifiable thing, and then add the steps you need to take to make it a reality:
For example, it is difficult to be as happy as possible if you are not as healthy as you would like to be. The world can be going exactly as you would want it to, but being in poor health can make what’s going on out there pretty trivial. Nothing makes the outside world seem insignificant like a poor diagnosis. Likewise, if the world isn’t going as you would like it to go, being healthy and feeling healthy can at least make your world seem somewhat controllable and keep stress at a lower level. There’s a reason the phrase “at least you have your health” exists.
Cardiovascular exercise has many, many health benefits, and walking or running does not require a gym membership nor anything more than a proper pair of shoes, so as far as exercising goes it’s difficult to beat moving outdoors for having minimal barriers to entry. However, rather than saying, “I want to start running”, which is both vague and a bit uninspiring, a goal like running a specific distance by a specific date could be a motivational aspiration. Consider this simple action plan to go from doing nothing today to running a 5k race by the end of November as a model for how to create your own action plan:
I’m sure there are many people out there who could be running 5 kilometers by the end of September, however minimizing the possibility of injury is needed to help achieve this goal, so this action plan calls for a stretching plan as well as a gradual ramp up to get to the distance. Consider your own goal and action plan. Whatever you need to do as a first step, try to make it as easy and simple as you can. Avoid the temptation to go out too fast, too hard. Let’s build some momentum around this. Successfully achieving an action item fuels the fire you need inside to then tackle the next, and the next.
Step TWO: Make It a Habit.
If the thing you wanted to accomplish is something you would want or need to keep doing, then making it a habit is pretty essential. I believe that the older you get, a saying that rings true is, “you are your habits”. The more good habits you have, the more potential there is for positive things to happen to you. Eating right, getting enough sleep, saving and investing for your future, and any number more, will increase the chances of a happy, healthy life. They won’t guarantee it, of course, but on balance, the more good habits you have the more likely you are to be healthy and happy. Likewise, the more bad habits you have, well, you know.
The advantage habits have is they take far less energy than behaviors that aren’t habits. It’s like saving automatically into a retirement plan. It takes no effort after you set it up, and what it does for you is crucial to your long-term financial health. However, if you had to manually push money out of your paycheck each and every time, it’s more likely you will forget from time to time, or find some other excuse not to make that periodic savings.
There is some science behind what turns a behavior into a habit, but there doesn’t seem to be 100% consensus. It used to be a common truism that it takes doing something for 21 days to make it a habit, but further research has found it can take much longer than that based on the nature of the activity. I had read a few years ago it takes 90 days, so that became my belief, but recent research suggests the average amount of time to make something a habit is 66 days. 66 days is 9 weeks and change, so I made a grid for 10 full weeks to acknowledge a new habit may require a little more than 66 days to “take”. All you have to do is check off each day you are actively working on your goal. As far as running goes, resting days are important especially early on, so even days where no running occurs would still be considered active days for my previous goal.
Writing things down or checking things off has a fascinating psychological effect as far as I am concerned. For years now when I have worked with clients who want to control their budgets better, I have advised writing down every time you spend money into a little ledger. Writing in the book becomes synonymous with a negative behavior, so many clients start spending less money because they don’t want to write it in the ledger. They like spending money, but they don’t like writing in the book. Ultimately, they spend less money because they don’t want to write in the book; not because they no longer enjoy spending money. Honestly, I find it weird our brains can act like that, but we can use it to our advantage. When you’re working to make something a habit, you know writing a check mark in the grid is a good thing, and you want to do this good thing. For someone who doesn’t like running, they can talk themselves out of today’s run, but for some reason they are willing to do the run in order to keep writing the check marks. Don’t underestimate the power of this low-tech tool. If you want to make something a habit, print this grid off, or make your own, and use it. It works.
There’s the one-two punch: A simple tool to help codify what you want to accomplish and how to accomplish it, and a simple grid to check off the days along the way that you will need to be active in an activity to make it a habit. There is a lot more I could write, of course, about positive self-talk, shrugging off discouragement, and having someone else hold you accountable to this goal. Those are all valid, but for the purpose of this piece, and to keep it simple, I’m just focusing on those two steps.
Nothing helps shrug off the malaise, nor helps keep the forward momentum going like doing something you claim you’ve always known you should do but just never have. Additionally, it is incredibly empowering to take responsibility over your life and to control what you can. If you’re feeling what a lot of people seem to be feeling these days, that there are large forces at work that affect you, are not under your control, and do not all seem to be going your way, then I highly recommend identifying and taking action on something in your life that you do have control over and that you know would make you happier. Don’t let these big forces rob you of motivation to work on your own personal goals. The difference between the life you have and the life you want is what you do.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in the September 2024 edition of our “Cadence Clips” newsletter.
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